NFT London Tower Hill / Aldgate

Tower Hill / Aldgate

Though on the fringe of the financial cesspit, Aldgate is brilliant to walk and gawp around in. A. Gold's British deli (yes…ça exist!) is fabulous, as is the atmospheric neighbourhood around Petticoat Lane, where Jack The Ripper used to stalk prozzers. After stodge at Jeff's, head south, past the Erotic Gherkin (ahem), and go siege the London Wall alongside the tourists. Alternatively go become one yourself at Pudding Lane.


This Neighbourhood Featured in...

By Jenny Wight
Feeling encumbered by free time? Join Jen Wight as she leads you on the most minuscule daytrip around! Loiter by the waterways, cycle to the beat of  mum-and-daughter horse riders, look at sheep and excessively binge-drink while making fun of foreigners. You may never take a real vacation again.

Jeremy Paxman Is Wrong

By John Parton
Don't let John Parton's swaggering discursiveness fool you. He may not leave his house til nightfall, nor form an explicitly user-friendly sentence, but he sure knows his way around the city he loves. Read on for the poetical journey of one man's jaunt among famous gravestones, "Georgian money shots," the siren calls of sari-hawkers and adulatory attention of miscreants.


On Our Radar:

Posted By:  Michael Kasparis
Photo:  Michael Kasparis

Thames Clippers
The banks are strewn with rusty Tesco trolleys, grumpy seagulls mull about on antique buoys, and Tower Bridge's shadow looms over a family of European faces. Yes, we're on the glorious Thames River, and we're reclaiming it for us proper Londoners. You may have never believed it was within your reach, but the Thames is yours. The Thames Clipper is actually a commuter boat and is thus incorporated into the Oyster scheme (though a small surcharge applies), but essentially you get a thrilling boat ride up the city's main artery. Running from Millbank Pier to the Royal Arsenal Woolwich Pier, the Clipper slices through central and east London with gusto, taking in most of the architectural loves we've grown bored with as land-lubbers. For whilst sitting stern-side the Houses of Parliament, the Royal Observatory, and even the London Eye are all wondrous. And if it's a really nice day you may spot a stranded whale sun-bathing on the banks...

Posted By:  Anne Seymour
Photo:  Anne Seymour

Tower Hill
Perhaps I hadn't quite grasped the concept of serial killing, but the Jack the Ripper Tour was much more grisly than I'd anticipated. The business of ho-ripping was not, it turns out, a delicate one. But you've got to laugh, eh? Intestines flung over the shoulders, feet on a hacked-off boob, bobbies slipping about on spilled guts... It's not Vicar of Dibley admittedly, but it was charmingly enjoyable, and you'll soon set morals aside to lap up your guide's wild-eyed and dribbling delight as he indulges you with the salacious details of Victorian atrocity. Do apply a filter on yourself before you book of course: this is not, for example, for those who spluttered their grammatically substandard indignation over the Andrew Sachs scandal. But for those who are cheerfully desensitised by the gruesome and explicit media coverage of modern times, this is a top night out. For less than a cinema ticket you can discover new bits of London, be entertained for two hours, and learn lots of Fascinating Facts that your friends will never tire of, no matter how much they pretend otherwise.

Posted By:  John Parton
Photo:  John Parton

Petticoat Lane Market
Whilst recently wondering if I could afford to fork-out an absurd amount of money on a number of new things I didn't need, I reflected that life in London is (obviously) exorbitantly pricey. However, there are solutions to this problem, one of the most attractive being Petticoat Lane Market. Running half-heartedly during weekdays, but blooming into a crowded clamour of unintelligible trader shouts every Sunday morning, it is absurdly cheap. Cheap, cheap, cheap. I struggled to find a suit for more than 25 pounds, admittedly, most would have made me look like the keyboard player in a crap wedding band, but 25 pounds! Unfortunately, the traders' wares do seem to consist mainly of strangely styled and shaped clothing, but if you happen to be in need of a new suitcase or a load of reggae DVDs, these also seem abundant. The market is also a draw to genuine bargain hunters, meaning it is delightfully free of posh idiots taking monochrome photos with their digital SLR's whilst looking for organic sausages. Petticoat Lane (now actually called Middlesex Street) is also close enough to Brick Lane, where there is also a Sunday market, to ensure that if you're feeling particularly frisky you can manage both in a morning--extra bargain!

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